Ripped From The Headlines

picture of confused sperm

(note: originally published on and…now in its new home on

Have you ever read a headline and wondered wtf?? Came across a whopper:

“US Man fined $27K after ejaculating in co-worker’s water bottle”

Ummmm…seriously?? I shit you not. Gotta say, as headlines go, it got my attention. Some character in California has been fined (and I am assume fired) for ejaculating into a co-workers water bottle. Buddy needs a new hobby.

I find myself wondering how the detective work played out on that particular investigation. The board room meeting where police are asking for DNA swabs from all male employees. Hmmmmm … are you trying to solve a murder, espionage, some white collar crime?? Nope … just sorting out who’s jacking off in Sally’s water bottle.

Under what circumstances does it occur to someone to jack off in a co-worker’s water bottle? Is this some frustrated Romeo who’s tired of her turning down his sexual advances, no “office” hummer”… Continue reading “Ripped From The Headlines”