Coffee Enemas…how do you take your coffee?

coffee enema bag

(originally posted on…now in its new home at

Coffee Enemas…how do you take your coffee?

(for the record, orally…I take mine orally)

Coffee enema…this is a thing?? Color me surprised. My son was watching an episode of My Strange Addiction and shares this little gem with me. Not only is a coffee enema a thing, it’s a thing that can become addictive. Oh, do tell.

Gotta google that one, where else would one find a wealth of information on strange shit that people do? Sure enough, I get as far as “coffee e” and google knows exactly that I’m looking for –

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Jay Lavery….I am a fan

farmer dancing in barn

Jay Lavery – Dancing Goat Farmer

Just cause it’s Friday…we could all use something a little upbeat  – enter Jay Lavery. I came across this Huffington Post article complete with a video of Jay demonstrating his dance skills while tending the goats on his farm in upstate New York.  It’s dance like nobody’s watching…except for Continue reading

Giraffe Porn

giraffe bent over looking through its legs

Giraffe Porn

You read that correctly, apparently it’s a thing. It must be, the live feed of a giraffe giving birth in a zoo in upstate New York was pulled off You Tube due to complaints from an animal rights group that it was “sexually explicit and contained nudity”. Seriously, I cannot possibly make this up.  Note:  it’s not the conception folks, it’s the birth.

I have no idea what a giraffe is supposed to be wearing while giving birth but clearly some misguided soul took offense to giraffe nudity. I’m going to say someone needs a new hobby, Continue reading

Poultry Fornication (or Romeo got penis juice on my last pair of lululemons)


(originally posted on and www.the…now in its new home at

(Spoiler alert…if you stopped by hoping to catch some videos of chicken sex…a) you need a new hobby, b) you are dark and twisted in a different way than I am and c) eewwww)

There’s a reason I don’t write fiction…I couldn’t make this stuff up.

Princess is a character in my world who exists solely on privilege and entitlement. I used to think that she was completely out of touch with reality but I’ve come to the conclusion that she’s merely out of touch with my reality and that’s enough to annoy the crap out of me. I will give her credit for having achieved a level of oblivion that is nothing short of mind-boggling. She was talking to me, as she tends to do …unaware that I was plotting her untimely demise. She’d just marched in announcing that she’d done an hour and half of cardio the night before …then asked me if I knew how long an hour and a half of cardio takes …

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The Twiddle Muff Chronicles

(originally posted on…now in its new home on

(Bonus points if you guessed that’s a cat ass coaster in the picture)

After the whole twiddle muff incident, things got worse. This will make marginally more sense if you’ve read the “Words That Make Me Giggle” post…but not much more.

Knitting sounds like such an innocent past time. Not so fast – who knew the yarn arts had a dark side, a “mature content” section?  Turns out knitters are weird folks.

Do you know there’s such a thing as vaginal knitting? I’m not making this up… Continue reading

Twat Waffle

(originally posted on…now in its new home at

I’ve discovered that the Kung Fu countermove to Cockwaffle is…drum roll please…Twat-Waffle, I really should have seen that coming…

twat waffle poster

∼ the nasty wench ∼

Words That Make Me Giggle

(originally posted on…now in its new home on

Words That Make Me Giggle

I love words, all kinds of words…but there is a special category of words that simply make me giggle. Often it’s the double entendre, smacking of smutty undertones or sometimes they just sound silly.

My perennial favorite – labelopes. Unless you deal with Purolator on a regular basis, you have no idea what I’m talking about. Labelopes sounds like a genital reference… Continue reading

The West Virginia Roadkill Cook-Off

Roadkill Cook Off Logo

(note: previously posted on…now in its new home at

The West Virginia Roadkill Cook-Off

Yes, Virginia, there is a Roadkill Cook-Off, this is a thing. Just when you think you’ve heard it all, along comes a rather unique annual cooking competition. I heard a rumor, I looked it up, it’s quite the event – not just a cook off, it’s a festival.

The first rule – all entries must have, as their featured ingredient, any animal commonly found dead on the side of the road – groundhog, opossum, deer, rabbit, bear, crow, squirrel, snake, turkey, etc. No indication if you have to mow it down yourself or just scrape it off the side of the road and toss it in your trunk.

The second rule – Continue reading

What Would Baby Jesus Think?

Baby Jesus statue without head

(courtesy The Star)

(note: previously published on…now in its new home on

What would Baby Jesus think?

What would baby Jesus think? Apparently a white stone statue of Mary and the baby Jesus at a church in Sudbury, ON has been vandalized a few times over the years, decapitating the baby Jesus but leaving the head nearby – ‘cause really, what are you going to do with a baby Jesus head. A little hard to pawn. Pssst, wanna buy a baby Jesus head?

The last decapitation took place a year ago but the head was nowhere to be found. The cost of replacing the head was prohibitive to the church and so it remained “as is” for months. A local artist came across the statue and offered to repair it at no cost – Continue reading

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